The Church Lady
A fellow went to church on every occasion possible. One day a new lady came to church and sat in the pew directly in front of him. She was a particularly large lady. Whenever she stood for the prayers, singing or what have you, the fellow noticed that her dress was always lodged between the cheeks of her bum. This went on for some weeks.
One day the fellow could stand it no longer, when everyone stood for the singing he reached over the pew and gently tugged on the bottom of her skirt to dislodge it from it's location.
The next day, at the Doctor's office the poor chap had to relate the whole tale to the Doctor when asked why he was beat to a bloody pulp.
A few weeks later a friend came to church with our fellow. He was also a very helpful sort and when everyone was standing for the prayers and singing he noticed the way the woman's skirt lodged itself. He reached over the back of the pew and tugged on the skirt to release it from it's location. Now, our poor fellow who was a regular looked at his friend and said "oh no, she likes it that way" and proceeded to tuck it back in with his fingertips

.
The coroner asked his friend, who had only attended church just that once, what happened