Do as chris says and say he was drunk.

I was cut off by a bastard the other day crossing in front of 2 cars on a 3 lane part of a main road only to pull up on an intersection that was Red for turning.
I slowed enough to throw 2 huge banana skins onto his open side window to decorate his cigarette smoking wife.
I suggest alway keep some big bananas in your car you can chew on and keep the skins for your trip just in case you need to tech someone a lesson.
Imagine you could have slapped that old farrt with the skins.
At worst Imagine going to court and the laugh hed get from saying he was slapped by banana skins.