a recent survey was conducted to see why men get out of bed in the middle of the night

5% said it was to get a glass of water

12% said it was to the toilet

83%said it was to go home.

I recently conducted a survey on how people reacted to my problems.

22% Didn't give a crap and the other 78% were glad!!

Bastards.

Yeah Don. You Got Issues Man, Unlike myself Who is as pure as the driven snow.

The good 'ol days of being part of the 83%!

dodn you cant count asking yourself and 2 others about that... but then again im in the 22%

What do you mean good old days!

Ahhhh, The 'Good old days'. I remember when i used to get a 'travelling fat' when going over a bump in the road or if I seen a nice looking chick or even just for no apparrent reason. Now I need at least both the above things to happen and even then it has to be accompanied with a dirty thought!

The things i use to do all night take me all night to do

a recent survey found that 33.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot

i think the actual stats are 81.37% are true and the rest are made up... or thats what the internet says