I found two guys sitting in my car one night. I was walking back to my car and there were these two hammered guys sitting in it, pretending that they were driving it - rally style. If I had not been so pissed off it would have been pretty funny. I was on my own so I just told them to both get the f**k out, which they eventually did. They crawled out more than got out.

It was only when I got in to drive it that I noticed that the f**kers had stolen my gear knob... that pissed me right off until I discovered that the moron who was sitting on the passenger seat left his wallet there with a fair amount of cash in it too... amongst other things... and no, I did not hand the wallet into the cops.