This was first posted as a sale car on ebay, but has been removed/sold -
FULLY SICK, STREET LEGAL Mitsubishi Express 1992 LWB (eBay item 230542966486 end time 01-Nov-10 12:40:34 AEDST) : Cars, Bikes, Boats
http://forum.lansmash.com/discussion/ ... gal-mitsubishi-express/p1FULLY SICK STREET LEGAL MITSUBISHI EXPRESS “Lock up your daughters” will be the cry when you are rollin through your hood in your Super Fly, Street legal 92 Express, cause the ladies can't resist a man in a sweet Long Wheel Base ride.
This vehicle was the back up car for the Delorian in "Back to the future" (Flux capacitor removed for safety and intermittent time travel issues....we once got stuck in the 80's for a few days...or was it Adeleaide...either way we were happy to be home) and for the Camaro "Bumble Bee" in Transformers (the Robot Mode has been turned back to factory default to prevent inadvertant transforming at the traffic lights when you stop next to a prius and all bumble bee wants to do is to monkey stomp it, and for back up required during street fights....goes without saying)
More gangtsa than The Saprano’s
More Pimp’n than Snoop dogg
More secret compartments than Colombian airplane
Still not convinced…..
Cop engine
Cop tyres
Cop chip
Cop steering wheel
Cop seat
Cop glove box
Does the quarter in flat 30's.....for real
For those romantics out there! The ladies love the blackened windows for some privacy and flat super soft plush marine carpet in the back or, for the entrepreneur….. if you need to move some merchandise around without “the man”
F@$$ing your SH#% up....
Just like that drunk chick at the party…you can put any amount of your junk in the rear end of this…. Without the cursin’ and cryin’….just in and out , no questions asked!
But you still want more.....
“Almost surround sound” (Trademark) car stereo with not only the ability to switch from AM and FM but comes complete with the Compact Disc (CD) technology
Optioned with: Tow bar, Bull Bar, Cargo Bar, Mars Bar
Reg Mar 2011, to get you through your first summer of absolute awesomeness-ness.
Regretful sale, but since I’ve been married my wife dosen’t like me driving by myself for all the attention from all the classy ladies that I get, when I’m on my way to the dump.
DISCLAIMER (This car has no affiliation with any movies what so ever, there are no police products on this vehicle and secret compartments maybe either too secret to find or non existent. The “tin can” acoustic properties of the van provide the concert style “Almost surround sound” TM. Snoop dogg or the saprano’s have not endorsed this vehicle, Mars Bar not included)
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Question & Answer Answered On
Q: ya bro full sick bit of gear ya got there you think if i purchased it you could throw in a set of spinner hub caps and a cannon exhaust along with a set of fluffy dice and a tube of hair gel so i can fit in with the pimped out rig lovin the add need more of them like this 28-Oct-10
A: Waddup T-roy, Spinners are so 2007…so no. Why would i waste my time with a cannon exhaust when the stock 1 inch racing pipes give it a sweet note, and the compression required to have the power to pass, and or blow the doors off a Suzuki Carry at the lights. Quality fluffy dice are a very personal choice, like a chick and her wedding dress, like a bloke and his trakky dacks, like that thing in that movie when you go…like Oh my god i can’t beleive it went that way, but it makes sense and there was a perfect but personal choice that everyone understood….like that…i think it had Meg Ryan in it or was one of those romantic comedies like “Once were Warriors”….. anyway you see where i was going with that. Stay Pimpin.
Q: YOUR BLOODY AWESOME – LOVED THE ADD FELL OFF MY CHAIR LAUGHING. 28-Oct-10
A: YES!!!!…..YES I am……….and modest, so i’ve been told. Hope you’re ok after the fall.
Q: I’m very interested in your Fully Sick van however I would like some clarification on one point. As I am a smoking hot chick who likes a bit of attention from the men folk, I was wondering if the van is capable of also attracting males? I wouldn’t want to give all the ladiez the wrong idea. 28-Oct-10
A: Hi Floozie, i just had a quick squizz in the owners manual and in the back had a sealed section…although i haven’t tried it myself but if you reverse the polarity of the (pardon my french) “Pussy Magnet” you will turn the van into 2400CC Stud attactor, where…and I quote..”Now with the Stud Atractor fully charged for the lady who likes to take control of her own destiny, the long wheel base, Blackened windows and flat carpeted floor, you can entertain all your new found UNSHEATHED POUNDING to your hearts content”..end quote.. Either load em up in the back for later and drop them off as you tire of them or just grab one at a time and change at your own whim. Another nicety for the the lady driver is the Long Wheel Base (“LWB”) and “Express” badging changes to “Lady Wantsa Bonin” and SEXPRESS respectively. The 92 Sexpress dosn’t judge it it feels the love. Stay Ace and regards, Sweet ride owner operator
Q: Hi. I’m currently driving a Commer van and a Mazda Bongo at weekends.These 2 babies are amazing chik pullers and i’d be loathe to give that up.Does the Express come with any chik-pulling guarantee ?? 28-Oct-10
A: Aaaah the commer and the bongo…the Falcon and Commodore of the van community, with regards to “leg opening ability” Nothing to be ashamed of they are both fine modest vehicles (unless the commer van has Slam doors all around …then we have to talk). The 92 Express…the name says it all….Spell it backwards.. SSERPXE then we take out the 2nd S.. S ERPXE… then we take out the RP and the E off the end….whats it spell…thats right SEX. If that aint enough to convince anyone this PASSION RIG has more pulling power than Tiger woods on tour, then son, you don’t deserve to bid on it…..even if you dream of bidding on this, you better contact me and apologise for a false bid…… coz if you aint convinced by the name sake, it would be like giving you soem Faberge` eggs and you asking for them to made into an omlette…. Stay Ace, Sex Express owner operator
Q: In the dark, cobweb filled depths of my memory, I recall a top secret attempt by Mitsubishi to build a Bathurst-dominating super family mover that would leave Holden & Ford for dead. Millions were spent and in the end 4 (four) homologation specials were built. When “the big two” got wind of it the lawyers started a backroom slogging match. So ended the dream of a Mitsubishi Express Bathurst One-Two. My understanding is that three of the specials were put to the crusher but the crusher operator was so overcome by with emotion that he couldn’t press the “crush” button on the fourth. It was spirited away by a dedicated group of enthusiasts never to be seen again. Is this that mystery people-movingBathurst giant killer? (Disclaimer: recollections, memories & assertions may be unreliable) 27-Oct-10
A: Yes Mr 70a9, you are correct, but if I put “bathurst special” in the title every clown would be hitting me up to come and take photos of it…..not to mention all the ladies that would want a peice of me and my sweet ride
Q: lol pissing myself!- actually quite funny reading your ad 27-Oct-10
A: Excuuuuuuse me, but a fully sick tricked out ride is nothing to LOL about. as for your incontinence, just owning a 92 Express alone has been known to cure it…or there’s plenty of room in the back to load up on DEPENDS for a long trip. All the best pissy pants.
Q: Hey dood…What a fine piece of machinery. How many fat chicks can you fit in the back of that shagg’n wagon?? Hopefully it will bulk out before it will max out. I’m excited!! 26-Oct-10
A: Its takes a Tonne…do your own math! the bulk out to max out ratio co-efficient however is a touch more complex, so i’ll give you a hand with that one… firstly we have to take into consideration where the chix are obtained by differentiating the power series definition of eix (see Taylor series). Indeed, since this series converges absolutely for all complex numbers we can differentiate it term by term to obtain, Now we define the function, The derivative of ƒ(x) according to the product rule (note that the product rule can be proved to hold for complex valued functions of a real variable using precisely the same proof as in the real case) is: Therefore, ƒ(x) must be a constant function in x. Because ƒ(0) = 1 by inspection, ƒ(x) = 1, giving, Multiplying both sides by cos x + i sin x, we obtain Using differential equations that you can fit an average of 5 Biggens in the back prior to the max out is breached Hoped this helped
Q: Dear Fully sick, do you have curtains fitted? Also are there any scratches (on the outside). thanks Dwaine 26-Oct-10
A: Dwaine…is that even a real name? anyhoo… The rear side windows not only have wicked tint on them but for the complete voyeur, have been painted black… The ladies i pickup dig it, as it gets them accustomed to their day job in the peep booths….its a win win situation. as for the scratches on the outside…you obviously know nothing about time travel, as the common man on the street knows that when one does travel through time and cross the event horizon, one gets up a bit of speed to say the least, and when you pop out the other end you never know what you’re going to find….have you ever hit a dodo bird at 88Mph???? …also with that goes hand in hand with the Time Ectoplasm Residue (TER) which is left on the vehicle after a trip.. fairly gritty and you can’t help fine scratches in the duco….i thought that that was obvious, but i guess its just me.
Q: So let me get this straight……If I buy this car I will turn from dud to stud? 26-Oct-10
A: Zero to Hero A bore to THOR, You are going to go broke if you by this sweet ride….BROKE from all the Frangers you will have to buy (unless you subscribe to the BareBack only club…thats how i roll anyway……)putting away all that sweet ass you will get thrown at you…like a rock star at an after party.
Q: Hey dood, Sounds just what i’m after. Can you still get those Flux Capacitator thingys?? Couldn’t think of anything worse getting stuck in the eightys and a van full of drunk fat chicks. 26-Oct-10
A: Hey Tony, Flux Capacitors are as rare as a lebanese bloke without a cousin…so i can’t help you there. There is a bloke in ipswich claiming to have a 1.21 Giga-watt generator…so there’s a place to start anyway..i would do a couple of test time travels with a dog or a monky if you can get your hands on one… and don’t trust lybians if you are going to deal with them for Plutonium….they’ll rip you off. Try Ralphs Plutonium Emporium in Pt Pirie South australia, they’re cheap and they deliver. The Van can take a metric tonne, so will cater for any fetishes….drunk or otherwise…. Happy Trails
Q: I shot my bolt when I saw this van. Ever taken it off any sweet jumps? I’m looking for somewhere to put my dirtbike but still leave room for activities. If you know what I mean ;) Would you consider 8 free martial arts lessons as part payment? I was thinking karate maybe. P.S What is your favourite dinosaur? 26-Oct-10
A: Hey man, i get that alot from people about their bolts. As for any jumps….mate!! its a 92 Express they were made to jump.. i had to knock back the Crusty demons for their last tour coz i hit my head on the roof and tore my hammy last time i did a double heel clicker over the triples….landed sweet, but the hammy is still a bit twingey. Ever since i put the beds into bunks i got so much more room for activities in the back…so much more room. As for the martial arts lessons… i’m already an 8th dan jet black belt (better than normal black) jujitsu,taekwando,myagi do karate, Cobra Kai etc… basically i train jackie chan and Jet Li (hence the belt) for their gradings. Dinosaur…Velocaraptor
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