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The factory allowable tollarance for warp is 0.003 in. (not very much)
You're right, if it's within the factory specs it doesn't need to be surfaced (milled). Problem is, every shop I've ever talked to says "oh that's not right, you gotta mill 'em every time or you'll warp the gasket ... and it's only $ to do it - it's cheap insurance". What a bunch of baloney -- as if the factory doesn't know anything. For or a stock or mild engine, it is more important to get the block and head scraped clean (no old-gasket residue) and get the oil off the surface before putting the new gasket on. I use a little starting fluid (ether) to get the oil off. As rgrinder explains, torque the bolts in pattern to the correct torque steps (use a torque wrench) and it'll be just fine.
If your engine did blow the head gasket, use a quality straight edge and a feeler gauge to measure head warp (if any). A good straight edge is a precision device, so you might have to round up an old mechanic friend or have a shop check it. It usually doesn't warp 3/1000 of an inch even after blowing a gasket. But it can, so it is important to check.